Over the last few weeks I have been putting my thoughts together in preparation to share my testimony at church. It’s a true honor to (hopefully) bring God glory through my shame, but at the same time it has been extremely humbling to have to rehash and articulate my selfishness once more.
As I think about what I am going to say in my testimony, I am reminded of what a wicked sinner that I truly was and am in comparison to a holy God. The more that I learn about Jesus the dirtier I look and feel.
I was and am a sinner. I cannot excuse it, I cannot ignore it, and I cannot escape it. I will sin. You will sin. It is who we are. We were born sinners. Our only hope is a that a hero arrive to save us. Our only hope is Jesus.
I am convinced as I write this post that God wants me to be broken and in a state of mourning over my sin. Then, he wants me to look up from my agony and shame to behold his intoxicating beauty and sinless perfection while I anxiously await the day that he will relieve me of my struggles and wipe the tears from my eyes. He wants me to admit my need of him, and then fall back into his loving arms of grace - To be broken by the law, then healed by the balm of the gospel. I thank God that there is a gospel of grace to run to in my hour of need. I thank God for the cross; it is my only hope.